Welcome to my mind, this is kinda what is is like in there. Enjoy if you would like, but even I don't always. So don't feel obligated or anything.

(please excuse all grammar mistakes, I dislike editing my thoughts.)

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Still Not Doing Homework, but working hard.....kinda

Maybe I should write a play instead of doing my homework. Maybe I should just watch a single episode of a single TV show to get procrastination out of my system. Maybe I should see how many words I can write in an hour (I think I've gotten like 1500 on that one before). Maybe I should just go to sleep. Maybe I shouldn't be writing this blog (i just wrote blood instead of blog). Maybe I should just do my freaking homework. I have so much at this point that it basically encompasses my entire life. I am surprised that this isn't homework.
This is an odd principle, that I have so much homework everything I do seems to be layered with it, and yet nothing I do gets any of my homework done. I say that is an oxy moron for the ages.
You know what? I am going to do something really stupid that will fill me with a bit of self-disgust. I am going to watch a TV show.
The reason that I am going to do this, god damnit lookit me now, trying to rationalize it. I can do this because I got ahead on all my other work so that I could work on my final projects. That means that I just have a little bit of studying for a quiz tomorrow to do. My brain is short circuiting because nothing is due for three days but I still have a BUNCH of work.
I'm sorry you had to read this if you read it. I feel that little place in my chest where my sense of self-confidence and efficacy sits as I get closer and closer to not doing my homework but watching TV instead.
Why am I doing this to myself. If I ever read this post again I will wish that I could reach back in time and slap me upside the head. When I say upside the head I mean with an upwards motion and make contact right above the neck. I deserve it. Future me, if the technology has been developed, please do it. Damn, we don't get virtual time travel in my lifetime. Or I am never rich enough to afford it. Try harder future me.
Ok, try harder present me too.
I shouldn't post this, what if I try to get a job and they see this.
ATTENTION ALL FUTURE EMPLOYERS! I am actually ahead on my work right now, as I mentioned before. I have a lot of work still to do, but I have never turned in an assignment late. I got this, I really do. OK thank you for only paying attention to this last paragraph. I am going to go rest my mind for an appropriate amount of time before jumping back into the thick of my work!
Whooo, this'll be fun!

I'm Back!

I hope you didn't miss me.
I realize that I have not posted anything for a while, and since you are likely reading these en masse and not as I post them you would not be aware of this tidbit. But now you are, it has been a little over a month since my last real post. You will notice, if you check, that I did post toward the end of November but that one doesn't count because it was to my roommate who happened to be reading this.
I write now because I should be working on final projects, surprise surprise. And because I just woke up from a fifteen minute power nap and was very confused.
First a bit about power naps.
I love power naps, they have gotten me through many a day. A power nap is a short nap, usually about fifteen minutes where you lie down with your eyes closed. You don't have to sleep, it's like a quick charge. You know when you plug your phone in and take it out again after just a few minutes it will appear to be fully charged for at least a little bit? No, well that's what non-smart phones do. Anyway, that's essentially the point of a power nap. A couple rules for these to work.
1) You must actually lie down, close your eyes and do nothing. Skimming twitter or facebook or incessantly watching Vines doesn't help. Close your eyes, be still.
2) You must set a timer.
3) When that timer goes off you MUST get up. If you don't you have to wait another half an hour until you will feel refreshed upon waking. (this has to do with sleep cycles and brain waves, I wont' get into it.)
4)I'm serious, follow the three steps above.
That being said, it doesn't always work. One time when I set my timer I set it for fifteen hours instead of fifteen minutes. I did not sleep that entire time but I was late for class. Another time I was lying on the floor and my roommate tripped over me, this lead to an almond butter jar falling on my phone which broke it. My most recent story, this happened about fifteen minutes ago. I was taking a power nap and my roommate needed the light on so I was sleeping with a scarf covering my eyes for darkness. (This is not a necessary step in power-napping) when my alarm went off I couldn't figure out why it was so dark and I couldn't see. I thought that I had slept through all my evening hours of homework time. It was terrifying.
Speaking of hours of homework. I am studying the affects/effects of the internet and social media in democracy and governance. I made a survey, if you read this before, let's say December 15th 2013, take the survey. It takes between 30 seconds and 2 minutes.  Social Media and the Internet's Perceived Affects in Governance I would really appreciate as much data as I can get. Thank you!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Hi Roomie!

You will be happy to know that I now know who my viewer is. Henceforth I shall no longer consider you inexistent, as I think of it now that seems kind of rude. To accuse you of not being real when you are sitting there reading this. That is very sweet of you, by the way, for taking time out of your busy day to read this. I do acknowledge the point that if you are reading this you are either very creepy and a stalker, planning on killing me, planning on recruiting me for a top secret mission and analyzing me, or very deep in the depths of procrastination.
With that note I will now only address you as you and nevermore shall I accuse you of not existing.

P.S. The reason I haven't been writing here is because it's November, Folk, and that means that I am working on my novel. Alright, gotta get back to it, thought I would just drop by.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Mid Morning

I will only work on this post for a bit because I really do have stuff to get done. But I did want to just drop by and say hey. When I started this post I had an intention of how to finish it, maybe with a story? Actually I even had an intention of their being a middle to it. I have yet to identify what either of these parts of the post were so I think that I will let this post slide on by. I will tell you this though, my wand in potter more is 13" cedar with a dragon core and reasonably supple. I think that it's a pretty good wand.
Ok, I feel a little bit childish talking about Harry Potter and wands so much but I think I have mentioned this earlier. I am still off reading the news and doing research in the real world, I'm looking for something that I am impassioned about. So, I'll keep you updated on how that's going. So far it's not going at a breakneck pace.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Identity Crisis

This can only be a quick post because I have a ton of stuff to do. But this is what I am going through. My entire literate life I have believed myself to be a Ravenclaw, and when I told people that they would nod their head and say, "yeah that makes sense."
But then I came to college and people started asking me what house I was in, I would say Ravenclaw and they would say their house and then ask if I had taken the test on pottermoore. I said no and they said I had to.
I finally took the test today and it turns out I'm a SLYTHERIN! I don't want to go insulting any of my housemates but, man! This is something that I am having trouble wrapping my head around. It's like a total shift, it makes me want to re-read the books so I can see what the slytherins are all about a little more.
Ok, now I have to get back to homework!
have a nice evening!

Sunday, October 27, 2013


Today was Saturday. It was a good day. I slept in until ten and then showered and had brunch, which was yummy. I spent the first half of the day "doing homework" I wrote a thing for environmental science and then read some of my text book. Around three I went down stairs and worked on my essay and a friends essay then the greatest thing happened, the people at the table next to us started playing Settlers of Catan, I immediately got in on that action, and was promptly surrounded by the other players and crushed. Then it was time for dinner, dinner was pretty good, I sat with friends.
After dinner we played Settlers of Catan again. That second game was much better. We had an iron curtain and everything, trade embargo's, and the whole thing.
If you don't know what Settler's of Catan is you've gotta fix that. Basically you need to collect resources based on where you build your settlements and how the dice rolls. It get's really intense and enemies become friends and friends become enemies.
Ok, So I didn't finish this last night, people didn't leave my room until like 1 and at that point I just went to sleep. My roommate had a sleepover in North last night. She just got back and told me we could get cereal from the dining hall. So I think that I am going to do that.
I was hoping this post would be more interesting, but I guess not.
Ok, I have to get like this whole week of homework done because November 1st is speeding in at a breakneck pace.

Friday, October 25, 2013

sitting in the room with one light on

It's almost one in the morning and I am realizing tha tI haven't posted today yet. I know all my non-existent readers are worried so I thought I would set your minds at rest.
Basically today wasn't awesome, but that's ok that's how days work.
Right now I am sitting in my room with three other people. I keep making typing mistakes because I feel like I am being watched but I am pretty sure that is the spotlight effect at work. (Psychology is pervasive.)
Speaking of school, this really shouldn't be a journal about school. I just don't have anything else in my life going on to talk about that I know about. There's a shooter on the loose a few towns away from where I used to live, four police officers have been injured from gun-shot stuff. Some scary shit. I hope the shooter doesn't get it into his head to go and hang out in my home town. I am just assuming the gunman is a man. Because bad guys are all male. That's an assumption that society has almost universally.
I don't really have a lot to say, as I type this, the people in my room are becoming more zombie like. They are talking about music though and I don't know anything about music so I am kinda left out by virtue of ignorance.
It's kinda gotten to the point in the evening that no one is talking any more. We're talking about whether or not we would be freaked out by our face being covered by butterflies.
I don't know why but that made me think of how while I was watching Tangled with some friends, we were analyzing the economic impacts the damn breaking would have.
This transitions poorly to another thing that I have noticed in college. People use a lot of big words wrong. I actually like it, because sometimes it feels like everyone around here is more intelligent that me. So when I notice that they made a mistake, it makes me feel a little better. I think that is a normal thing. It's not like I am reveling in their failure, it's just that their mistake reassures me that they don't have a such a higher intelligence.
We have now talked about pets and guns since the last time I updated you on the current conversation. And now we have added fastidiousness to our repertoire along with blinds.
I think that my shoulder may actually be injured. It was hurting while I was knitting and it is hurting again after extended typing, it also just generally aches. I really hope that it isn't injured because that would mean that I injured it by doing an exercise wrong. Although my kettle bell trainer did tell me today while I was telling her about my shoulder hurting and before I was almost fainting, that my shoulders are uneven. Not because of some spinal misalignment but because my muscles are actually different from generally favoring my right arm as well carrying my messenger bag on one shoulder. Ok, I think that we are all going to sleep now.
Good night blogosphere that I am only on the edge of.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Ok, here's the thing

So, I am about ready to go to sleep and right now my roommate is having a very intense conversation with one of her good friends, and interupting them wouldn't really be emotionally healthy for either of them. It's like their unload time and I respect that. But I can't do anymore homework tonight even though there is stuff I should do.
I'll tell you about my day, in case any of you care.
I had two tests today, one of them was in psych, I don't think I did very well on it. I studied pretty well for it but it was multiple choice so I just had the vocabulary a little wrong which all adds up to not doing very well because there were only ten questions. And getting one wrong bumps the grade down to 90%, so even getting three wrong makes it a 70%. So, following that test was a damnit moment for me.
I also had a stats test today, and I think that I did pretty well, it was also only ten questions but they were essay response questions so I was able to explain myself and that gives me more lee-way for half credit. I would have had to completely miss the point of the question to lose all credit for it.
Environmental Science is going to be an intense class, I have a lab brief due next week I should really start working on it. I also have a response to my Outdoor Education Hike due, and I also need to read the text book, and those chapters are really long.
Ok, if any of you people reading are from waldorf. Every class is a mainlesson. The classes even take as long as mainlessons, and since my school is on a quarter system they are all like really involved mainlessons. I think that having mainlessons is making all the work and the intensity easier to deal with, but man, it's a lot. What I really want to do is read a book just for fun but I feel guilty doing that, so I don't.
I mentioned this in my post yesterday, but I really want to study in the writing institute, I feel a little unwelcome there because, as far as I know, I don't need help with my writing, they are just really comfortable couches.
I wish I could include a picture in this post to kinda break it up a bit but I don't really know how and I don't have the picture I would want to post on my computer, it's on my phone and I don't want to deal with the transferring.
Ok, this is how I will be doing the nanowrimo, staying up late into the night, typing typing typing. I hope that I don't get sick. If I get sick I will need to stop nanoing, and focus on school because school has to be my top priority right now.
Ok, it's almost midnight I am going to start getting ready for bed.

Just a sec

I'm sitting in my room. I finished writing the first draft of an essay by 9:30 =me super awesome, right? Wrong! Because guess what? I have another Journal to write. this one for governance. I am supposed to be comparing the government structure of the village I am living in to the situation going down in Detroit. I didn't have to chose Detroit but I did because it said manager in the text and my village has a manager working in cahoots with a council.
In Detroit, from this one article, what I can tell is that there is a mayor who was in "power" when the debt bubble popped and everything went to shit in 2008. Either that or he was in power soon after. Anyway, during his reign, so to speak, the city went to shit and everything fell apart. In his effort to pay some of the bills he told the people that the city couldn't really afford to pay their pensions and help out with healthcare and all the stuff that a city is supposed to do. So instead of talking with the unions and the people who would be directly affected he just declared that their pensions were getting cut. This made people mad. Meanwhile Mr. Mayor has hired Mr. Emergency Manager and the two of them are planning on filing for bankruptcy with something called a chapter 9 filing. Which I haven't looked into and don't understand. But anyway, because they were doing that is during their "negotiations" with the people which weren't really negotiations but more like proclamations, they were already planning on filing for bankruptcy which proves that they hadn't tried all the options before filing.
Now there is this huge court case going down of whether or not Detroit could actually be considered bankrupt because even though they are out of cash the mayor and emergency planner didn't go about it in a nice fashion and the people of Detroit and the law, so far, is saying that they aren't eligible.
Now, I have to compare all that nonsense to my village that can't even hang on to a manager, they have had four in the last ten years. I think the reason is because the council has been treating all their managers more like really knowledgeable servants and less like an equal or adviser. The purpose of the manager is to help the council enact their goals in a responsible and legal way.
The council has to acknowledge that the manager does have a huge knowledge base on how to deal with it. What the council needs to realize is that they are the common variable, not the managers. The managers keep changing, the village stays it's usual same and dynamic self. My conclusion is that the village needs to get off its high-horse and deal with harsh realities, like not everything can be ideal. Which I think they know intellectually but have a hard time coming to terms with in reality.
My issue is combining these two nonsense issues into one cohesive 300 word document that a teacher would feel like they didn't waste two minutes reading. I also feel like I have to be careful because the people round here are very involved in the village and since this is going toward a grade I don't want to go and insult any one.
Ok, I need to go back to organizing my thoughts in a more academic manner. Have a nice night!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

15 Minutes

Alright I have fifteen minutes to write this blog post. Usually I could get a lot done in that much time but I seem to be having trouble typing today. I think that it is because my arms are ridiculously sore and while it doesn't hurt my arms to type my finger dexterity is severely reduced.
Today in writing seminar we talked about writing concisely. A lot of it is all about common sense stuff, don't use super fluffy language that takes away from the actual point of the essay. Let the points stand for themselves. It made me think of my high school teacher, I'll call her Ms. G who was adamantly opposed to purple prose, something that I agree with. I am going to send Ms. G the power point presentation when I get it.
I also want you all to be aware that I have no free time today. This is my one moment of freedom from responsibilities. I don't even really have time for lunch because I am studying with a friend for two tests tomorrow and then I have to go straight to the glen to go on an outdoor education hike with a bunch of kids.
I do want to note that even though I don't have time till after dinner tonight and then I have a shit ton of homework to do before the next day I am still finding time to write this and I also read three pages of the book club book. Which really wasn't very much reading but it was some and I appreciated the ten minute respite.
I have also found the only comfortable couches on campus. They are in the writing institute and I think that from now on I will come here to do my homework because I can be in a comfortable place without being on my bed. I am opposed to doing homework on my bed because that messes with my sleep programmers and confuses my brain. But the alternative is sitting in uncomfortable hard chairs which isn't any fun either. This couch is big and guhsy and leathery. It has pillows and the lighting in here is nice. Maybe a little dark for reading but perfect for typing. And there are lamps and stuff that I could turn on if I wanted to. Another good thing about this space is that it's communal so I am not locking myself up anywhere but it's quiet.
This may come as a surprise to you but the library is not quiet on the main floor. The main floor is where all the desks and couches are for studying. So it can be a good place to study but also not.
gotta go now.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

What I should be doing

Well, this will probably be a longer post because I should be doing homework. I have reading for stats, social psych, I have a research project for environmental science, I have to read for governance, plus start writing a writing analyses, as well as some other things that I am not forcing my brain to remember right now but I know they are there.
The thing about weekends is the dining hall doesn't open until 11:30 and I really have a hard time functioning without my food in the morning. This is rough because that means that I am missing out on half the day pretty much, it's not very efficient. I do think that logically it makes sense for the dining hall to open later, the staff needs a break, plus most people are still sleeping anyway. Oh, I also have to do my laundry but all three washing machines are full. How would I know something like this when the only time I have left my room is to shower? Because my roommates clothes and stuff are in all three.
Some updates about my day. It's really cold here, well not really, it will get colder or so I've been told. But it's cloudy and rainy today, so it's nice to be cozy in my room. I'm thinking of turning the heater on actually so that it will be even more cozy. Right now my room is just cozy because it's not wet and rainy in here. If I turned the heat on it would actually be cozy. I'll have to think about this later. Know this though, my knees feel cold.
Ok, I am going to admit to something right now. I wish I were a blogger, like a serious one who had a following and wrote about stuff, and my readers would start getting my inside jokes, but I don't feel like my life or I am too skewed enough. Yet anyway. I still have a few years to live. So I won't lose hope.
I was going to talk about the creative writing club. I wasn't able to make it to the meeting because I was busy doing Envs stuff. But I did talk to a girl who wen to the meeting, I'll call her Jane. Jane said that the people at the meeting mostly wanted it to be more of a writers workshop where people submit their work and then everyone reads it and gives them feedback. Stuff like that. Jane and I were thinking that what we really wanted was a group of people we could write with which would basically consist of sitting together while we worked on our own stuff. Now then, I think that sounds like the coolest thing ever, mostly because that was how I spent at least half of my weekends back in sactown. My friend and I would go to the coffee shop and spend 3-6 hours there just writing. We did this for three years, the people in there knew us and would ask us about how our novels were coming along. I loved doing that. Here I haven't had a chance to do that, mostly because I haven't had time, also because I haven't had money to actually buy coffee, and thirdly because I haven't had a friend to do it with.
On that time note, I am feeling seriously trepidacious (I can conjugate words however I want) about this nanowrimo thing. I will have to set aside time for it. Otherwise, like right now, I will feel bad the whole time I am writing and like I should be doing something else. That's bad for the creative process I am pretty sure. Although right now I'm not having any trouble coming up with nonsense to spew.
On that note, I really think that I should be getting back to...I'm not gonna lie...I should be getting to work so, Adieu!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

New Start

I just started college so obviously that means that I am feeling like now I can do anything if I just put my mind to it. According to the founder of my school I should, "Be ashamed to die until I have made a difference in the world." With that in mind it seems like I should really get used to doing way more than is reasonable.
So far what I have on my plate isn't so dramatic. I have classes that I need to go to. I am over-crediting but not really because one of the classes is only two credits and I would do it even if I didn't get credit for it. I just want to do that. Oh, I'm talking about To-Shin do. I just really want to do martial arts.
I was talking about my goals and even if they aren't particularly grand or humanity changing I have to start somewhere. I want to stay healthy, this shouldn't be too difficult to achieve because the food here is scrumptious and healthy, I have been exercising regularly if not vigorously, and I have been getting about 7 hours of sleep a night. This is a little under the recommended dose of sleep but it's pretty damn good.
I am also in the book club and creative writing club. Book club is going to be fun, I think. I like the people in it anyway, it's another thing I have to do but I don't think the books will be awful so that's a bonus. And then the creative writing club I am waiting to pass judgement on, we haven't met yet.
At this point I will segue to my next goal which is nanowrimo.
I want to try and do it this November. This is my most ridiculous goal yet. I have written 50,000 words in a month before but never in November. It will also be difficult because I am flying home in November, right toward the end when I need to be really cranking out the words. I created a nanowrimo profile, I'm nosepace. We can be friends if you'd like and if you exist.
This blog post is actually an exercise in  preparation for nanowrimo. I am also writing in my journal every night. I've found that the more extraneous writing I do the easier it is to do my other writing. I could also say that this post is not procrastination from doing my homework but really a brain exercise to get me ready to do my homework. As I get more and more writing assignments it will be good to have my brain all lubed up and ready to go. 
On that note, I am intending to write more blog posts in the near future. I am debating whether or not I should talk about actual people I know here at college. I think that I will, I have some friends. Actually my most exciting moment yesterday when I noticed that I was making more friends. They live in a different dorm that me so I hadn't really talked to them before. Besides for one girl who I have like three classes with. Anyway we are going to watch Sherlock, Dr. Who, and Les Miserables when we have a chance, hopefully over the weekend.
Also starting this weekend is the zombie apolcalypse, put it on your calenders. We start with Saturday night, walking down main street as zombies. The next day Patient Zero is released and then we have to survive as long as we can.
I'm actually feeling a little worried about my ability to participate in these games because I don't have a bandana to mark me as zombie or human. I also don't have any armor or weapons, I won't survive very long as a human, that's for sure. I will have to find someone who has an extra bandana. And I may have to do some arms stealing.
I will at least be posting updates on the state of the apocalypse over the course of the week. That's not a promise, just an intention.
Ok, I really need to start worrying about accomplishing something now. It was nice talking!