Maybe I should write a play instead of doing my homework. Maybe I should just watch a single episode of a single TV show to get procrastination out of my system. Maybe I should see how many words I can write in an hour (I think I've gotten like 1500 on that one before). Maybe I should just go to sleep. Maybe I shouldn't be writing this blog (i just wrote blood instead of blog). Maybe I should just do my freaking homework. I have so much at this point that it basically encompasses my entire life. I am surprised that this isn't homework.
This is an odd principle, that I have so much homework everything I do seems to be layered with it, and yet nothing I do gets any of my homework done. I say that is an oxy moron for the ages.
You know what? I am going to do something really stupid that will fill me with a bit of self-disgust. I am going to watch a TV show.
The reason that I am going to do this, god damnit lookit me now, trying to rationalize it. I can do this because I got ahead on all my other work so that I could work on my final projects. That means that I just have a little bit of studying for a quiz tomorrow to do. My brain is short circuiting because nothing is due for three days but I still have a BUNCH of work.
I'm sorry you had to read this if you read it. I feel that little place in my chest where my sense of self-confidence and efficacy sits as I get closer and closer to not doing my homework but watching TV instead.
Why am I doing this to myself. If I ever read this post again I will wish that I could reach back in time and slap me upside the head. When I say upside the head I mean with an upwards motion and make contact right above the neck. I deserve it. Future me, if the technology has been developed, please do it. Damn, we don't get virtual time travel in my lifetime. Or I am never rich enough to afford it. Try harder future me.
Ok, try harder present me too.
I shouldn't post this, what if I try to get a job and they see this.
ATTENTION ALL FUTURE EMPLOYERS! I am actually ahead on my work right now, as I mentioned before. I have a lot of work still to do, but I have never turned in an assignment late. I got this, I really do. OK thank you for only paying attention to this last paragraph. I am going to go rest my mind for an appropriate amount of time before jumping back into the thick of my work!
Whooo, this'll be fun!
Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
ReplyDeleteBe less hard on yourself. It's okay to relax for an hour, I promise.